Self-harm is a deeply personal and distressing experience for many. It can feel isolating and overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. Here at HPCCH, we want to provide a compassionate space where you can explore the complex nature of self-harm and understand how support, guidance, and care can lead you toward healing.
What is Self-Harm?
Self-harm refers to any intentional act of causing injury to oneself. This could take many forms, such as cutting, burning, or even overdosing—behaviours that are often used to cope with intense emotional pain, stress, or distressing feelings. While the behaviour itself might seem difficult to understand, it’s important to remember that it is often a way for someone to deal with emotions they might not know how to express otherwise.
It is crucial to differentiate self-harm from suicidal behaviour. While both are serious and require immediate attention, self-harm is often about coping, not about ending one’s life. For many, the act provides temporary relief from overwhelming emotions, but it is never a lasting solution.
Why Do People Self-Harm?
There isn’t a single cause for self-harm. People who struggle with self-harm often experience a mix of difficult emotions and situations that feel unmanageable. Some common reasons include:
- Emotional pain: Feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, or worthlessness can build up inside and feel too difficult to manage.
- Mental health challenges: Conditions such as depression, anxiety, and trauma may contribute to the urge to self-harm.
- Difficulty expressing emotions: If someone struggles to communicate their pain or emotions to others, they may turn to self-harm as an outlet.
- Trauma or loss: Past experiences of trauma, grief, or loss can create deep emotional wounds that are hard to heal on their own.
- Stress and pressure: School, work, family dynamics, or societal expectations can feel overwhelming, especially if someone is already struggling with other challenges.
It’s important to understand that everyone’s reasons for self-harming are unique. What works for one person might not be relevant for someone else, and that’s okay.
Breaking the Cycle of Self-Harm
Self-harm often becomes a cycle—starting as a way to manage overwhelming emotions, followed by feelings of guilt, shame, and regret, which only intensify the emotional turmoil. Over time, this cycle can become a habitual way of coping. However, it is possible to break free from this cycle.
Seeking help, learning new ways to cope, and finding healthier outlets for emotions can support the journey toward healing. At HPCCH, we believe in providing you with the tools, strategies, and emotional support needed to find alternative ways to manage your pain. You deserve to live a life where self-harm is no longer a part of your coping mechanisms.
Who is Affected by Self-Harm?
Self-harm does not discriminate—it can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. Research suggests that up to 1 in 10 young people may self-harm, and the rates can be higher for certain groups, including those who have experienced trauma, mental health challenges, or significant stressors.
It’s important to remember that self-harm is not a “phase” or something that someone does to get attention. It is a complex issue that requires understanding and support. If you or someone you know is self-harming, it’s crucial to approach the situation with compassion, not judgment.
What Can You Do?
If you are struggling with self-harm or know someone who is, the first step is to reach out for support. At HPCCH, we offer a range of services to help you understand the root causes of self-harm and work towards healthier coping strategies. It’s not about “fixing” the behaviour overnight—it’s about offering a safe, supportive environment where you can explore and heal at your own pace.
You don’t have to go through this journey alone. It may feel difficult, but with the right support, healing is possible. The first step is always the hardest, but it’s also the most important. Whether you are reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional, there are people who want to help you.
Getting Help for Self-harm
Should I Tell Someone?
Yes. Talking to someone is often the first step toward breaking the cycle of self-harm. It can be difficult, but opening up is crucial for your healing journey. Many people find it hard to talk about self-harm, and that’s perfectly normal. Sharing your struggles shows incredible strength and courage. It can often bring relief to finally let go of the secret.
Why Talking Helps Talking about your feelings doesn’t make you weak – it’s a sign of taking charge of your mental health. If finding the right words is hard, try expressing yourself in whatever way feels right. Just start, even if it’s hard because expressing your emotions can bring you the support you need. You might be surprised to find that opening up can encourage others to do the same.
Who Can I Talk To? There are many people you can turn to when you need help:
- Friends and family can offer emotional support.
- Trusted teachers, school counsellors, or youth workers at school may be great allies.
- Healthcare professionals, such as a GP or counsellor, are there to listen and help you navigate the next steps.
- Helplines and charities provide anonymous and confidential support (see details below – some of them offer support 24/7).
Remember, you don’t need to explain everything about your self-harm. Focus on how you’re feeling, and don’t feel pressured to give too many details. If speaking is hard, you can always write it down or ask someone you trust to help you communicate. You’re in control of how much to share.
What Help is Available? Once you’re ready, there are many professional support options:
- Counselling or talking therapies, like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), help you develop coping strategies.
- Psychodynamic therapy focuses on understanding the deeper issues behind self-harm.
- Self-help groups and charities can also provide additional support, especially hearing from others who have faced similar struggles, may be of assistance.
Recovery from Self-Harm Recovery is possible, but it takes time. With the right help, you can work through the underlying issues that cause self-harm and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Many young people who’ve recovered from self-harm report that making changes in their lives or removing stressful situations helped them break free from these patterns.
It’s crucial to be patient with yourself; recovery won’t happen overnight. But the journey starts by seeking help and exploring new ways of coping.
How Can I Stop Harming Myself? Getting support is key. When you’re ready, start by talking to someone you trust. They can help you understand why you self-harm and help find new, healthier ways to deal with stress or emotions.
Distraction Techniques When you feel the urge to harm yourself, distraction can be helpful. Here are a few strategies shared by others who’ve struggled:
- Write down your thoughts and feelings, then crumple or tear the paper.
- Squeeze play-dough or hit a pillow to release emotional pressure.
- Go for a walk, take deep breaths, or engage in a creative activity to shift your focus.
- Call a friend or use the five-minute rule: try to delay the urge to harm for just five minutes, and then see if you can wait a little longer.
Looking After Yourself If you’re struggling to stop self-harming, it’s important to look after your safety. Serious injuries require medical attention, so if you’re hurt, ask for help immediately.
Create a Safe Box with calming items (books, music, activities) and a list of people to talk to when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Avoid Alcohol and Drugs as they can make feelings of anxiety and depression worse, increasing the temptation to harm yourself.
Be Kind to Yourself Don’t be too hard on yourself. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to not be perfect. Remember, you’re not alone, and there’s always help available to guide you through the process.
If You’re Worried About Someone Else If you’re concerned that someone you know is self-harming, it’s important to be supportive. Look out for signs like:
- Withdrawal or isolation from others.
- Changes in mood, eating or sleeping patterns, or unexplained aggression.
- Talk of self-harm or suicide.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, there are immediate support services available:
Mental Health Support: 1300 555 788
Qlife: 1800 184 527 (for LGBTIQA+ support, 3pm-midnight)
At HPCCH, we are here to guide and support you with the care and compassion you deserve.
